HELLO.
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth!
If God were small enough to be understood,
He would not be big enough to be worshipped!:D
My Thoughts
Sunday, February 18, 2007
what could be worse than having a big fight at the second day of lunar new year? well, my family is now doing it. a happy joyous festival turned into a series of unfortunate events. what actually happened was simple. my mum invited many of our relatives over. 3 families from her side and only one aunt from my brother's paternal side. so my brother was angry! "how would you feel if all the people were from your family and only one odd one sitting there?" asked my brother. so my brother got so angry because my mum did some things wothout consulting him and my brother refused to eat dinner anymore! like why am i having reunion only now, because as i said my mum just got out of the hospital. then my brother and mother started screaming and shouting over each other, turning an upheaval and uproar in the family. and me and my sister in law started crying. then crazy mum kneel on the ground and threatened to kill herself and move outso yes, my mother packed her stuff and tried to seek her attention from my brother who simply ignored her and she tried to get out of the house while me and my sister-in-law pacified her and she finally started cooking while my brother and elyn jie went out. note: my brother is not eating reunion dinner anymore. only me, mum, sister, and brother-in-law. so now's she's cooking and the crazy thing is she can just suddenly wail and cry then later go cook then wail and cry then go back and cook that kind of thing. it's irritating. then she said she wanted to go be a nun and blah blah. and she keeps pestering me with one question: " how are you going to live while i'm gone? go back to your dad's" like FUCK. stop chasing me away. you don't fucking care about my feelings at all, you don't even fucking realise how much you've hurt me with the things you do and you claim you're staying in this whole world only for me? BULLSHIT. well maybe 25% yes. but 75% for my brother. damn damn damn. i feel like banging my head on the wall. she's acting like a spoilt child. downright SPOILT. with the mentality of a primary 1. she ask me what she's done wrong. i say " you should consult gor next time" then she ask me the question again and start wailing and crying. my $200 hundred dollars ang pow is all gone together with the money daddy gave me. not that i mind. even if i did, what's the use? adults always RIGHT. teenagers always WRONG. adults can take all our money. i can't. just like bullshit eh?
why do i have such a mom.
why do i deserve this.
why is this happening to me when everyone is celebrating.
why am i in tears.
where has everyone gone when i needed them.
why am i in this world.
why am i still living here anyway.
why why why why why why why? i don't understand too.
i'm breaking apart inside.
is beauty only skin deep?
or is beauty everything?