ELIZABETH'S! :D

2007-09-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

3rd of september,
Elizabeth saw a little puppy abandoned at the playground.
She named the little girl puppy, Brandy, elizabeth brought the puppy home.
the days went by, elizabeth and baby brandy developed a close relationship with each other.
brandy loved to nibble on bones and sticks.
brandy was still having her little teeth.
brandy was only 3 months old.
brandy loved to nibble and lick elizabeth.
brandy could run about without her leash.
brandy obeyed elizabeth.
brandy followed elizabeth everywhere.
brandy would cry if elizabeth wasn't beside her.
elizabeth had to lay beside baby brandy till she fell asleep.
elizabeth bought puppy milk, food, bones, shampoo for brandy.
brandy hates to bathe.
elizabeth spent her whole holidays taking care of baby brandy.
brandy would drink her milk.
elizabeth would rub her tummy.
brandy would go down to play
after that, brandy would bite her bones for an hour,
brandy will then sleep.
all with elizabeth.
brandy is a greedy puppy.
brandy can watch teevee.
brandy knows elizabeth are taking photos of her.
brandy loves elizabeth and elizabeth loves brandy.

but today, 8th of september,
elizabeth's brother gave brandy to his wife's parents.
elizabeth cried, badly.
when she left the house,
when she took the bus.
when she ate
when she brought jagger down.
when she came home and couldn't hear the bell that brandy had with her
when she saw brandy's bed empty
when she saw brandy's food, bones, shampoo, milk all gone.
when she saw the mess brandy left behind
when she saw the places brandy used to run around
when she saw the friends brandy had
Brandy, elizabeth jie jie misses you.
even though only for a week,
jiejie loves you dearly, like my little baby.
jiejie wants you to grow up strong and healthy
jiejie hopes you wouldn't forget her.
jie jie hopes your new family will sleep beside you every night
JIEJIE LOVES AND MISSES MY LITTLE BABY BRANDY.

Goodbye Brandy, jiejie will see you soon):

2007-08-27T04:03:00.000-07:00

prelims started today, and let's just say for today's chemistry paper, i can forget about passing. lols, and yes, i think i'll hate that element for quite some time. tomorrow's geography and i don't even have the least bit of confidence to pass. prelims=stress=study. this three just go together so well, they're giving everyone headaches. i have to do my studying now(: goodbye!

2007-07-21T06:12:00.000-07:00

Love, fooled me. it deceived me.

i don't deserve all this,
it's all unfair to me.
why do some people get all they want,
while i'm left with nothing.

2007-06-28T00:10:00.000-07:00

HELLO:D

i guess it's been a long time since i blogged, it's starting to be a chore to blog since time is running fast. O'levels are creeping in slowly, and holidays have passed way too fast for me. my mum's being a pest this days, and yesterday i broke down in the middle of the coffeeshop because she kept accusing me as to why i was returning home late from school. i told her it was remedials but due to her child-like nature, she didn't get in the things i said, and kept insisting i was galivanting outside. i hate to be accused and she had to do that. i told her enough, but she went on and on, her words getting harsher and harsher till i gave up eating my lunch completely. she wasted so much of my time, eating out with me only to find out that she didn't want to eat at all! i was so angry, upset and fed up. things seem to be getting alot better(excluding family), and i hope things will stay this way. though i'm still not completely satisfied but i'm thankful for it. today we had remedials at schoolo and i had real fun at chemistry practical(: how nice would it be if the exams only consisted of practicals instead of chemical equations. and math, things are arranged as such that we get to do an exam paper each week! goodness, i just dislike math to the core! time's running out. just 3 or 4 weeks more and the mock exams will be starting. i pray for peace and more motivation, determination.

am i just seeing what i want to see,
or is it for real?
thank you for your presence in my life,
i thank God for you.
i still love you, baby(:

2007-06-10T04:36:00.000-07:00

I JUST SAW SOMETHING THAT PRACTICALLY MADE ME SCREAM.
cool down elizabeth chua, there's nth wrong with it.
gosh, i'm gona faint.

the body's warn,
but alas, the heart is cold.

2007-06-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

went for poa remedial today, and yes, i am finally learning how to handle it(:
time's passing past too quickly, we're just left with two weeks of holidays, i've got to do intense revision next week, if not i wouldn't be able to catch up for the o's. many things happened since i stopped periodically blogging, many things have changed, many hopes have been dashed, life's like coming to a dead end for me. unthinkable thinking, thoughts, feelings are all overwhelming me. i've changed, but things around me have changed too. for the better, and for the worse respectively. i feel terrible, yet i have nobody to talk to. nobody to pour out at. b'cos those who used to listen, are starting to leave me all alone. at least that's what i seriously think. i'm not being sensitive, i really feel that way. life' no longer as happy and insouciant as it used to be. things have changed. and i want them back.

is death the way out to misery?
God, save me.

2007-06-06T23:05:00.000-07:00

okay, i know my blog's dying. i know. i've seem to have forgotten how to blog, or what to say in a blog, which explains the gibberish i'm saying now. okay, i need to revived my blog, but nobody's coming anymore, so how do i revive it? i just have one word to say for the holidays.
BOREDOM(:
i don't know what to blog anymore, wait till i have sth then, :D
goodbye.

2007-05-05T03:06:00.000-07:00

nicole made me do this test, but since i'm so bored, i shall entertain her(:

1. Are you a 'straight' girl?
ans: i'm not a lesbian-.-

2. Do you wear make up?
ans: seldom, mascara and gloss only?

3. Do you go to the salon?
ans: when it's time to cut my hair

4. Have u cried because of a guy?
ans: yes, i have

5. What's your ideal guy?
ans: christian, humorous, quite tall, and he must wear spectacles(:

6. Have you met him?
ans: yes, i have

7. Are you a hopeless romantic?
ans: think so. hah.

8. Do you spend most of the day daydreaming about someone?
ans: yes, but not for the whole day.

9. Are you still waiting for Mr. Right?
ans: i'll leave it to God.

10. What turns you off about a guy physically?
ans: childish, violent, act cool

11. Personality?
ans: me? happy.

12. If your boyfriend have a car, what would it be?
ans: it must be blue. a sports car?

13. Flowers or chocolate?
ans: blue roses! or sunflowers! ahahaha

14. Does size really matter?
ans: depends on whether it makes the person cute, or disgusting.

15. If you could have a celebrity boyfriend(international) who would it be?
ans: i don't want to have one.

16. Local?
ans: hopefully.

17. What's your dream wedding?
ans: in a well known church overseas?

18. Your dream honeymoon place?
ans: ehh, don't know? france? italy?

19. What will you name your first baby girl?
ans: aha, i haven't thought about that yet.

20. The best thing about being a girl?
ans: clothes, accessories?

2007-04-29T03:58:00.000-07:00

well, i'm still suffering from my giddiness after my stomach flu and fever. not that i got any special treatment from my brother, i still had to go buy his dinner, do the housework, and yes wash the toilet. seems like nobody gives a damn about it anyway, except mum & nicole. i'm such a mean friend till a point of time when i'm sick and my friends don't seem to bother until i get in touch with them. okay, and the first thing i got to do, is to stop acting like a bitch to people whom i dislike and tell them how i really feel nicely and stop giving them an obnoxious attitide like they owed me in their past lives. okay, i shall start from here. daddy's going to jail. nothing's final yet but i think he will because he housed an illegal immigrant, and this the second time. but i still hope God gives daddy one more chance!):

2007-04-22T04:14:00.000-07:00

it's been a hectic day today. housework, and i just recieve a bad news from daddy. seems like he has to attend the court session because he housed an illegal immigrant. he thought he could run away, but it seems like he's been caught. just after my mummy's court case is over, here comes my dad's. how long do i need to worry for them? my goodness, things haven't been good lately. yesterday, jagger got beaten by gor gor. i don't know what he did, but i just heard jagger growling at barking. then i went out and my brother asked me not to touch him. so i went to the kitchen to pee then went back to my room but i felt like peeing again, so i went out. he came out and accused me of touching him, and when i argued back he asked me to keep my mouth shut and go back to my room. bastard. my poor baby, got beaten so badly): when will things get better?

2007-04-18T02:31:00.000-07:00

haven't blogged so long, 16 days have passed. things have very much been the same. international friendship day was a sucess. um, let's just say i'm at least happier than i was last term. but i'm still stressed over the o's. i cannot cannot buck up my maths in such a short time. my maths foundation is like shit, and i don't want to go nowhere): why can't they just make maths another random subject! i'm so worried, but i have no frigging discipline and motivation. at least, not for maths): TELL ME PEOPLE. what can i do? mom's out of job, and she just keeps going overseas to the casinos, without calling back.! i'm worried also that she'll lose alot of money there. oh God, don't let her lose her money. i pray for her, i hope you forgive her):
um, on the other hand, i guess i'm rather contented about how things are going between us, let's just say i'm contented just from looking at a distance, i can't hope for more i guess):

if you just told me how you felt about me,
if you love me,
i'll be the happiest girl in the world.
but if you don't at least i know and i won't be stuck here.
don't tell me you don't know how i feel.
i bet you do):

2007-04-02T05:21:00.000-07:00

HELLO(:
i finally blogged(: and i changed song, it's zhi xiang ai ni by rainie! my goodness, i love the lyrics, and the tune, i wished i had the courage to do what she did, i got emotional): um, let's just say i'm really tired of giving out but never getting anything in return. it seemed easy at first, but for 1 year 4 months, i guess the lively elizabeth has got everything drained out of her): i'm really tired. anyway, i reunited a kitten with her sister and her mother yesterday, and i'm so happy!
elizabeth doesn't have the confidence, elizabeth does not have the guts, elizabeth is afraid of rejection, elizabeth is a coward):

sometimes, i want to shout out that i love you,
but i can't, what if you start to hate me?
i'm getting all emotional again.
weakling, coward.

2007-03-28T04:14:00.000-07:00

HELLO:D
we ran 2.4 today, and it was so so tiring. lols, i didn't train for it in a very long time and my stamina just dropped so i deproved by 30 seconds): today, literature was fast and we had a celebration for kylie and shimmie which turned out to be " A Really Spendid Celebration" as if. lit students, you'll know what i mean if you don't, let's just say everything turned out exactly opposite of " A Really Spendid Celebration". but still we cut the cake and threw water bombs at esther. hoho, don't ask me why we targetted her when the birthday star wasn't her, i was merely following commands. anyway, mummy's having her operation tomorrow, inserting a metal plate inside her knee. i hope she would really turn out fine, and i hope accidents NOT to happen. she has some heart problem so i must must really pray for her. OH YES. the stupid stupid school is having a very serious attire check tomorrow, they'll be separating the guys and the girls, they will be lifting up our shirt to see if we tucked in or folded our skirt. no fanciful earrings, high socks, no hair over the collar, and the lamest thing is that they'll be checking our bras. so i think with my shirt tucked in, my skirt at the knee, my socks sky high, my earrings disappearing, i guess, i'll be like a total geek eh? lols,

i would be a fool for you,
i really would.

2007-03-26T03:21:00.000-07:00

HELLO:D
i just cut my hair. and it looks absolutely, frigging ugly): it's tooooooooo short): i look like a boy now): lols, i had fun at school today, alot of laughters but dine's going to get her new phone today!): i'm so jealous! it's my favourite phone too! i read women's weekly and got tips on how to eat properly and stuff. so i decided to follow it, and make sure i eat a good breakfast, and drink lots of water! anyway, i got to go do my chinese assignments already! TATA:D

2007-03-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

HELLO:D

new blogskin! i think it's kinda plain but i love the rose! so i'll leave it as it is. all thanks to GERALDINE NEO SHI LEI who used up 2 hours of her time to do this! thank you dearie!
anyway, i'm now into a drama series after hana kimi. it's devil beside you by mike he and rainie yang! yes i'm slow but that show is really good! mike he is hot and rainie yang is gorgeous(:
me and geraldine are going to watch Mr bean's holiday next friday with her mummy! CANT WAIT!:D

2007-03-19T03:43:00.000-07:00

the first day for term 2! and i practically wasted my whole day in school. the teachers wouldn't even here! anyway, i told a lie. i'm such a bad kid. i lied to my brother that i had SUSOP, when i actually when out to plaza sing with shann. i'm such a bad kid. God, forgive me): i don't feel well, i feel very guilty): i repent.

today in school, we played truth or dare(: shann and geraldine had to open the windows, close the windows and say YAY, I CLOSED/OPENED THE WINDOWS! Darshini had to take the dustbin and empty it, while Nisha had to go to the whiteboard and clean it when there was absolutely nothing and ask us if it was "white" enough. mine was the worst. i had to go to the teacher's table where alex ang was sitting, sit on the blue sliding chair, twirl and say "WEEEE" then later tell alex ang that it's very fun-.- i felt my face burning so badly. lols,
i am still feeling very guilty):

anyway. JAGGER did not sprain his leg. he sprained his buttocks. AMAZING eh? and now he has to wear the elizabethan collar to prevent him from scratching his ears or mouth. he looks so cute like a lamp post(: but he keeps banging his collar everywhere because his head is too big. lols, my poor darling. anyway, i hope at least this term would be a better term. i haven't had such a laugh in such a long time. i hope i wouldn't be a weakling this term.

ever since i fell in love with you,
i've become such a weakling.
i'm crying more then my laughters.
i'm gona change this!:D

2007-03-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS' TO:

ALEX
SHIMMIE
AND. DEAR DEAR KYLIE(:

MAY YOU PEOPLE HAVE A BLESSED BIRTHDAY AND GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR O'LEVELS!:D

2007-03-13T05:01:00.000-07:00

went to meet daddy today(: ate lunch then we had a heart to heart talk. it's been ages since we sat down talking to each other so seriously. talked about the past, how they divorced when i was 3, how my mum fought back custody, how he hid me away from them. it was really hilarious. did a card for him at home, i hope he can feel the appreciation i have for him.
then, went out with nicole and geraldine at bugis(: until my poor feet ached so much. i got heels and a pair of denim shorts(: the whole clinque of girls with nisha, darshini, shimmie, me, dine, shann, swing, kylie, yingyi are going to celebrate our dear kylie and shimmie's birthday together! can't wait! my mind's feeling really blank now. don't know how to continue anymore.

with your hand,
even the widest, longest road
can be overcomed.

2007-03-11T04:51:00.000-07:00

JAGGER'S LAME NOW):
the story on how he became lame goes like this.

10th of March, my dear Jagger was sleeping peacefully in the kitchen, when some strangers came into the house to paint the study room a darker grey. Jagger, the MAN(dog) was angry and he jumped and he jumped and he jump and he jumped. later, when the people went of, Elizabeth jie jie, his owner saw him on three legs, the hind leg lifted up. Elizabeth jie jie was shocked and she tried to push his hind leg down, but he keeps lifing it up again. flustered, she went to tell her brother. then we all knew Jagger became lame.

lols, his foot is still up, but we decided to observe for maybe a few days to see if it's okay. we suspect it's a muscle strain, not anything to do with the bone. it's heart breaking when i see him pee. because his leg slants all the way 45 degrees. see my dear Jagger? that's what you get when you try to act like a hero. BAD BOY.

2007-03-09T07:11:00.000-08:00

we all finally completed the camp! yay! aha. it's been a meaningful camp for me, i learnt alot more about myself and the personalities different people have , how true they were! it's been utterly irritating today! i woke up in the morning today and realised i couldn't open my eyes. as in my eyes were stuck together. because i was too heaty and my eyes started discharging pus out from it. so my eyes were so swollen, my eyes bags were big, i just looked like one horrible ghost): at least my migraines have disappeared, they were torturing me for the pass two days. heritage race was really tiring. we all ran till our legs were sore and jellish. all of us were so tired. we gave up in Mandai and didn't head to Sembawang.

you're like the King.
i'm like the servant.
never meant to be.

2007-03-06T03:12:00.000-08:00

hah, we saw 3 boys get caned yesterday. mr low broke his three year law by not canning students in public, and finally relented. i think the guys that got spanked didn't feel really much at all. maybe just a very sharp wince then you can see them back to their self. they were even smiling! like, it's crazy can. you just got canned and you still can smile. hah.
today was the most embarressing day ever. i just feel like being an ostrich. dig a hole and hide my head inside. it's not that i don't want to tell him or anything. the fact that i held back for so long was because i knew that even if he knew, i was so so sure that he wouldn't do a single thing about it! so am i right to say i could just let everything stay the way it is? and what if he minded it and started avoiding me, then wouldn't it be more of a hassle then helping me? i was so hurt that you girls made it so obvious without thinking of my feelings. without thinking of the consequences. yes i may joke-cry to you all, but this time it was for real! anyone in the right mind would cry when you girls made it so obvious! i don't mind if you all make fun of me and stuff but not to the extent of saying and narrowing down his status! if he was far, i wouldn't mind. but he was near. damned near. forget it. what's said cannot be taken in, what's done cannot be undone. you all are forgiven. it was just slips of tongues anyway): don't have to be guilty about it.

2007-03-04T01:23:00.000-08:00

haven't blogged in ages. many things have happened. family happenings, friendship and relationship. my brother found out that mum actually owns the shop she's having now, found out that she was lying to him all the while, if you know about my family or have been reading my blog consistenly, you can imagine the chaos that happened. i won't elaborate. what's happened has happened, what's past is past.

the first time i saw you smiling so happily.
your passion, your love.
then i realised,
i was just wishing for the impossible.

2007-02-18T23:34:00.000-08:00

what could be worse than having a big fight at the second day of lunar new year? well, my family is now doing it. a happy joyous festival turned into a series of unfortunate events. what actually happened was simple. my mum invited many of our relatives over. 3 families from her side and only one aunt from my brother's paternal side. so my brother was angry! "how would you feel if all the people were from your family and only one odd one sitting there?" asked my brother. so my brother got so angry because my mum did some things wothout consulting him and my brother refused to eat dinner anymore! like why am i having reunion only now, because as i said my mum just got out of the hospital. then my brother and mother started screaming and shouting over each other, turning an upheaval and uproar in the family. and me and my sister in law started crying. then crazy mum kneel on the ground and threatened to kill herself and move out then my brother said " you do what you want to" then my mum called my brother a bad son, and my brother started going crazy and he shouted " you call me a bad son? then i wouldn't bother about you already" you can imagine the hurt he went through after doing so much for the family and being called a bad son.

so yes, my mother packed her stuff and tried to seek her attention from my brother who simply ignored her and she tried to get out of the house while me and my sister-in-law pacified her and she finally started cooking while my brother and elyn jie went out. note: my brother is not eating reunion dinner anymore. only me, mum, sister, and brother-in-law. so now's she's cooking and the crazy thing is she can just suddenly wail and cry then later go cook then wail and cry then go back and cook that kind of thing. it's irritating. then she said she wanted to go be a nun and blah blah. and she keeps pestering me with one question: " how are you going to live while i'm gone? go back to your dad's" like FUCK. stop chasing me away. you don't fucking care about my feelings at all, you don't even fucking realise how much you've hurt me with the things you do and you claim you're staying in this whole world only for me? BULLSHIT. well maybe 25% yes. but 75% for my brother. damn damn damn. i feel like banging my head on the wall. she's acting like a spoilt child. downright SPOILT. with the mentality of a primary 1. she ask me what she's done wrong. i say " you should consult gor next time" then she ask me the question again and start wailing and crying. my $200 hundred dollars ang pow is all gone together with the money daddy gave me. not that i mind. even if i did, what's the use? adults always RIGHT. teenagers always WRONG. adults can take all our money. i can't. just like bullshit eh?

why do i have such a mom.
why do i deserve this.
why is this happening to me when everyone is celebrating.
why am i in tears.
where has everyone gone when i needed them.
why am i in this world.
why am i still living here anyway.
why why why why why why why? i don't understand too.
i'm breaking apart inside.

is beauty only skin deep?
or is beauty everything?

2007-02-18T01:00:00.000-08:00

changed blog song(: going crazy by natalie(: anyway, i went to cousin rainft's house to eat reunion dinner yesterday, and mommy's out of the hospital. reunion dinner was alright, and i drank wine. the kind that burns your throat terribly. and yes, i think rainft got abit drunk. lols, and i found out that about some things, and yes, it's a big big big disappointment to me. i guess i shouldn't have had such high hopes eh?

everything lets me down.
everyone's lying to me,
everything's a beautiful mask to hide your ugly self.
i never knew how far you could go.
i never knew how much you would destroy.
but now i know.
it's a big disappointment for me,
and yes. it's hurting me deeply.
i'm going crazy .

2007-02-16T08:18:00.000-08:00

it's been days since i've blogged. and my life's in chaos now. my mum has been hospitalised due to some stuffs in her knee cap. she was putting on the bed covers one morning when her knee cap had a " CRAACCK" sound. then it swelled up, so she went to Changi General to get an injection. then she went to a chinese sinseh and the stupid sinseh administered some acupunture on her, the pain still stayed there and she went there again. then i was having my good night sleep went i was awaken by her calls, she forced me to go to Tan Tock Seng with her when it was like 2am? she complained of pain so i went with her and found out she had to stay there for observation. i reached home at 4.30am. my mum took my phone because she left her frigging charger in the shop so my mum's phone was on a low battery mode. then it died on me went i sent my alarm clock to wake me up at 5.45am. i was late for school, but i still insisted on going because i wouldn't be able to see my friends for 4 days! and yes the flame dancer teacher thinks his "oh so cool" but i don't think so, i think his gross. he can dance but still the coolness wasn't very much needed. after then i went shopping with yingyi and got a new bag. lols, i went to visited my mother. and there my trouble starts.

like damn. i have to wake up at 8 am tomorrow so that i can go draw her money out and pay her phone bills, and then go buy groceries from cold storage. then i have to go to tampines to collect her charger and her money before going to the NTUC to get more groceries. in case you're thinking why do i have to go to two places, it's because she thinks NTUC'S foods are fresher and she can get points for her linkcard. so like i have to drag along ALL the groceries. which includes a wok and a big big soup pot from her shop. 4 whole chickens, oil, wine, eggs, fish, prawns, vegetables, seasoning, rice, pork all by MYSELF. all this add up to 35 items. and the location is at Tampines. please i don't even know how am i going to drag everything down. i'm not superwoman you know! i don't understand why is she still cooking in her state! and she's not even preparing reunion dinner. the dinner is on the first day of New Year! she's wasting my time. why can't she just understand that i'm so fucking tired? damn.

2007-02-11T00:59:00.000-08:00

i've been really busy this days, or to tell the truth. i don't feel like blogging at all. i don't find my meaning in life, all the promises made are broken, all my goals are crushed and yes just adding on that i am so so so, useless. i haven't been a good friend to everyone, sometimes i hurt the ones i love not to mention, utterly nasty to the people i dislike. i hurt them unintentionally, sometimes, my brain actually just stops working and i start yakking things that i don't mean. everyone's so stressed up now, and i just keep adding on to their problems and start getting all bad tempered and petty i should admit. i don't try to comfort or understand my friends and in turn i start to be angry with them for not trusting me instead of understanding that they don't wish to tell me things that are within them. and yes, not to mention a hypocrite. although it's only to this particular person that we all dislike, but i'm still a hypocrite to her. MY GOODNESS. i just feel like banging my brains out of my bloody skull and step and squish on them until i can think in my right mind and stop being such a pest. mosquito, housefly, rat. whatever, just a pesky pest. i wish i could shut up for a day. that'll be great for me. an ideal wish. i feel much better after saying and admiting all this. at least i know now i'm a stupid pest.

in school, my girls are getting all ffff-ed up with this "angelic" little girl who talks without using her stupid brains. with no regard for people, who don't bother about people's feelings. like the pot calling the kettle black. my dear darlings, just bear with it. we will talk to her soon shall we(: i just love my babes, they're the best. thank you once again for bearing with my stupid self, love you all<3! Geraldine Neo Shi Lei, Tan Yingyi, Kylie Seah, Shushannah Lee Si Qi! <33333333s :D

my dear friend,
i'm sorry for not understanding you,
i'm sorry for not being there for you,
i'm sorry for throwing my tantrums at you.
i'm sorry sorry sorry. ):
i'm sorry for being such a bitch.
i'm sorry): forgive me for not being your ideal friend that you need.
still my dear friend, i still love you and i Thank God for placing you in my life.
you are a blessing to me, i just want you to know that.

2007-02-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

it's been a long time since i've blogged due to my busy timetable, i don't even have a good time of rest. well, i've got back my spirits but still lagging of some motivation and perseverance. mommy's birthday and darshini's birthday just went pver and we threw a birthday surprise for her! Chingay's on sunday and yes, i can't wait:D

finally.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO DARSHINI
ANDDDD. MUMMY(:

2007-01-27T00:37:00.000-08:00

heyhello, things haven't been going smoothly yet, so far. been really moody this few days, probably because of some random stuff. well, went to the chingay thing today, and i just realised i wasted my 3 hours there? we didn't even do much! just briefings, making the tissue box and slacking. there's fund raising on the 4th of feb, and i really really wish that it doesn't rain! mum's birthday is coming, and i'm fff broke, don't know what to get for her, don't know how to get money to buy her a gift. well, i don't know why some individuals just can be so happy with you then suddenly turn so cold to you. i just know i'm utterly disappointed in this particular person. we used to be so close and now this. i don't know what sparked the change in you, and for shit's sake. i'm not gona bother since you're even so friendly with the. . okay. i don't know how to describe her, nor do i want to label her, so let's just make her stay where she is.

and yes, i'm sorry friends if i startled and irritated you with my horrible mood swings and emotional outburst in school this whole week. it's just that i'm so vexed and everything's crushed inside that i can't control it. you just can't expect me to laugh and smile when i'm feeling so horrible inside. i can't do it. so please understand my girls(: anyway, i'm troubled with this particular friend relationship now. and i just can't find a way to handle it):

2007-01-24T02:31:00.000-08:00

school was alright today, had been expecting to go running, and was looking forward to it. but nevertheless, PE was cancelled because miss chug had to go for some course. anyway, i feel a teeny weeny little better now because i had an emotional outburst in school today, and after the outburst, i felt better. but note to self: GERALDINE DID NOT ABUSE ME. lols, it was just emotional outburst. and i went jogging with shann after literature today, and yes i feel satisfied and fresh. but the feelings will come back sooner or later, so i guess i'll just enjoy my little happiness for now. anyway, thank you Yingyi and Kylie for buying the VERY belated present. BEN AND JERRY'S ICE CREAM! hoho. i loved it. thank you thank you girls! just enjoy my cheerful tone of post today, and i hope maybe tomorrow the same tone will still be around eh? AHA. cheerios!~

2007-01-22T16:30:00.000-08:00

hey hey. i'm actually in school now. and i'm really glad my best friends actually bothered. aha. thank you people, you all make me smile. but still, the emo-tic feeling in me isn't gone yet. i dread going home, i hate going home. i may seem really happy outside, but it's just that i haven't had my share of emotional outbursts yet): i'm stress enough as it is, and my brother's just demoralizing me, taunting me. he thinks it'll motivate me to work harder, but it doesn't. it just makes me feel more hurt and makes me feel like i'm just like a piece of trash.
he says, "mass com no need pass maths meh? your english was so bad previously and you want to go to mass com?"
i say," i got 70"
he says," that is b4 you know?"
i say, " NO, it's A2"
he says, " so? it's not enough"
please la, he only got a c5 for his English.!

he just doesn't understand. he even said " you sure you're going tuition and not playing there?" for goodness sake! if i went there just to play. would i pay the fees by myself? i can't even buy the things that i like. or even a bag that i need, and he's not bothering! my goodness. i don't even know why i bother? but who cares, i know i study for myslef, not for him not for anyone else, but for me to have a better future ahead. so i have to perservere and go on, on this journey alone. i'll live on my own, i'll do things on my own, i'll think alone, i'll perservere alone! till then, i'll be alone, it'll be through my own that i win this race! <> okay, look i'm contradicting myself again!

life's like shit,
i'm so stressed up that i can't hold on anymore.
i'm going to break down.
i'm going to die down.
now i just pray that God will continue to give me
the passion, the determination, the motivation to go on.
and i believe he will.

2007-01-17T01:54:00.000-08:00

ain't feeling any better this two days. still the same, pressured. i just know there are many things bothering me in my mind, but i just can't explain what are they. and the feeling just sucks, because i feel like sth's pressing on my heart. making me feel so hard to breathe. had PE today, and we learnt softball and i'm in group 3. and fff, i felt like a noob because i didn't even manage to run to the other end and come back. it's so embaressing(if i spelt the word wrongly, pardon me) and well, that isn't the main point): i feel so inferior, so dumb, so stupid. i'm just so not good at anything!):

i'm feeling sad now. i feel hurt now. i feel like crying now. i feel so useless now. i don't feel like living on earth now. i feel like i'm such a bad friend to everyone now. i feel like i don't care for my friends at all now. i feel like a piece of trash now.

FRIENDS, i understand them but not totally at all. i don't care enough.
FAMILY, they don't understand me nor love me to the utmost.after all, i'm the EXTRA right?
STUDIES, my maths and studies suck totally. i don't have motivation.
LOVE, i love him, but i can't say it out. i just wait. i'm not good enough either.
this are all summarised. i can't say everything out. i need at least two days.

ALL THIS THINGS ARE MAKING ME GO CRAZY.
I'M DESPERATE FOR SOMEWHERE TO HIDE MYSELF.
I FEEL LIKE DYING. IT'S ALL DRIVING ME CRAZY. I HATE THIS WORLD. I WANT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE.
THE PAIN IS SLOWLY SEEPING THROUGH MY HEART.
ONE DAY, I WILL LEAVE AS I HAVE WISHED. I WILL VANISH.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

no one understands,

2007-01-15T02:46:00.000-08:00

well, i'm still feeling really bad. today wasn't a very good day anyway. but i don't want to say anything to my friends about this anymore. because i know it's sickening to always be hearing the same name being repeated every time. i know the feeling. so i don't wana keep harping on it. especially for yingyi, who's always been the main one listening. thank you, but i don't wana bother anyone anymore. it's just stopping here everything. nothing's getting anywhere, nothing being done. nothing being said. i'm so sick of this. yes, people tell me things that make me really happy sometimes. but maybe it was all a concidence. maybe it was all a lie, maybe it was just a random thing. i know i don't deserve him. i know i'm not good enough.
the happiness, then the stares, then the paranoid-ness, then the sensitivity, then the suspicision, then the tears, then the waiting, one day, one week, one month, one year, then the heartache, then the longing, then the giving up, then the goodbye. when will be the expiry date? i don't know. i'm so tired of this life, i feel like ending it all. it's foolish, stupid, but this life is exhausting. it's draining my energy, away. slowly.

for all i care.

2007-01-13T23:34:00.000-08:00

hey, i'm here to update again. well, i just realised how selfish is my mum and my whole family i should say. they don't really care for me. tell me, which kid pays for her tuition fees herself? i thought people always used to say. " home is the best place to be?" somewhere you can get warmth, and your family will never forsake you? well. i should say my family gives me the stress i don't actually need. they don't give me support nor encouragement. all they ever know how to do is to add on problems to my pathetic life. if you people have a good family you can rely on, cherish them well. because i don't and i will never have a chance to even rely on them. they keep asking." can you do well in your O's?" but they don't say " you can do it!" how am i supposed to be confident when they are already doubting my capablities when o levels isn't even nearing? my mum wastes my time on some USELESS shits, she in a heap of debt and damn it she's fff unreasonable. you can be digusted at how i rant on this, but you people will never know how it is like to be in this family. okay. i know. "ELIZABETH. don't complain, be thankful enough you have a family" yes a family who makes me feel like i'm an illegitimate child. a family who makes me feel like i'm an unwanted piece of trash. a family who makes me feel i'm a burden to them. NO THANKS.

and,
i can't believe how you're making this all our faults.
then suddenly act as if nothing's happening.
i can't face you, if this goes on.
it's a torment to see you acting sad,
then so happy the next minute.
i'm innocent. and so are the rest.

2007-01-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

hey hello(: tuition has started and it's been extremly stressful for me this to days. especially on thursday, when i had literature ending at 4.45pm and my tuition starting at 7pm. and the rain didn't help matters. there was a big major traffic jam and i was late): sorry geraldine.! anyway, it was comb science and the teacher was alright. he didn't exactly know how to teach maybe because he was too young. in his twenties. the guys in there were so noisy too! blasting music, saying vuglarities. my goodness, it was so distracting. i went home extremly tired reached home around 10.10pm, and it was still raining and i HAD to bring jagger down so obviously i got drenched when shielding the umbrella for him-.- my phone died on me and the screen was spoilt so i wanted to wait for my brother to lend me his second phone. apparently, i've been asking for it for weeks, and i simply think he has no intention of lending it to me. so i waited till i couldn't wait anymore and fell asleep at 1AM.

friday 12jan2007:

i woke up feeling extremly tired. 5 hours of sleep and the weather was so cold. and i only had two lessons to attend. we had guides after that. me and dine were the game masters. all was well and good. except for something that made me so pissed that i started acting like i had depression during poa. the STARE. the HATRED. like alright? every fff thing that happened was our fucking fault. IM SO SORRY FOR DOING STH I DID NOT DO. man, i was so pissed. please listen to both sides then judge on who to give the death sentence to. i wasn't feeling too good, i was tired, extremly tired and something like this happened. like it's so unreasonable. i don't want to bother about this anymore. do what you-know-who wants, do everything your way. we are wrong you are right. sorry sorry sorry.

tuition was maths today. the most impressive thing was that the teacher had suffered from a stroke before, sits in a wheelchair and is half paralysed. the most impressive thing is that he can still stay so jovial and happy. i salute him AHA. and no. it doesn't mean that he had a stroke and he's not a good teacher. he is, from my point of view. anyway, we started tuition from 5pm to 7pm, then he asked us if we wanted to join the 4Ns at 7.30 to 9.30pm. and we did. i got so irritated at doing maths that i almost broke down. i am just so NOT cut out for maths. i can't understand it. anyway, i'm feeling really tired now. i wana go sleep. goodnight.

2007-01-10T03:52:00.000-08:00

heyhey. i have to say this. i've been tolerating someone for like two days, and i feel as if i'm gona blow up soon. i won't. i will keep it under wraps. lols. anyway, mrs tang has a really bad habit. she loves to compare, and so what if we're from love? she didn't have to compare the way she did! literature was alright today, it was the same old boring lesson. i went to my cousin's house during the free periods to get my trunk of soft toys because they were moving out soon. i brought the toys to salvation army then. amy found her Mario, yingyi got her racoon. and i got some other small toys into my bag. the rest i gave it away. there was a hello kitty in a wedding gown among the toys i've given away. i sure hope the next girl who gets it is happy:D i took daniel home though. because he was in his wedding suit, and he reminded me of someone. tuition starts tomorrow. i can't wait(:

2007-01-08T04:11:00.000-08:00

heyhey. it's been fun in school today. except for the boring chinese lessons. we had to do a test paper on comprehensions. talk about good luck. lols, just on the second week. we already have a "test" paper to do. social studies was alright. with Geraldine constantly commenting on you-know-who, i couldn't stop laughing. and miss ross was talking like a bullet train i was just stoned there. i didn't catch what she said. so she had to repeat continuously.

YAY. lols, i enrolled for tuition with dine. we are having tuition. i feel so, so. um, hardworking? it's unbelievable. me and her enrolling for tuition. both of us can't believe it too. aha. it's at ang mo kio! i'm got a direct bus and dine has one too but hers is opposite):but it's okay. at least we're having tuition together! anyway. i'm tired of this life. i don't want to face the o levels. but i can't run away from it. so i got to tell myself. Elizabeth Chua Hui Qin. FACE IT):
as i saw the sec 1s tottering in. i realised 4 years just passed just quickly. yes, like the blink of an eye. we've come to the most critical stage of secondary 4. now, we got to work hard because the time we lost would never come back.

anyway, the stupid taxi driver drove me from hougang then to ang mo kio, then to sengkang. when he could just go by the hougang way. it was peak hour too! stupid stupid. lols, bad luck eh?
waste of money. waste of time.

TATA:D
oh. yesyes, i changed my blog song. AGAIN. lols,
it's HURT by Christina Aguilera:D

2007-01-07T02:46:00.001-08:00

okay. i haven't been blogging for days and life's pretty boring. i'm gona change this blogskin back to my previous one. because i still think i like that one better. and like f**k. my computer's lagging only at the blogskins page. it's so irritating. pardon me for my attitude because i'm feeling extremly tired now. like my brother threw the whole house to me while he went off playing his dear soccer. man. i haven't even mopped the floors yet and i feel like my bones are gona scatter sooner or later.

first day of school was alright. and yes LOVELY chow mei chee is our form teacher. and there's only one teacher because she says " as long as you have one good teacher, i can handle all of you". yes like bullshit. bad i should say. not good. anyway. a teacher SHOULD NOT boast. she is not setting a very good example is she? but who cares? if i have to face her for the whole year, so be it. it's God's will, so maybe something good about her will surface soon.

all i know that i had a really fun time seeing my friends and i had a great time laughing and joking with them. it's such a blessing to have friends like you people. yes. cca day was on friday and i had a hard time trying to pull people to guides. lols. i spoke so loud that i went hoarse the very next hour. worth it i guess, afterall if we didn't manage to pull in 40. we wouldn't be able to go home. geraldine dear and i went to find tuition centres. yes you didn't read wrongly, i said. TUITION CENTRES. please do not be shocked by my sudden determination in studying. it's just that i want my future to be all well and good.

not as if i can help if i'm naturally dumb. i suck at maths. and i sucked at it totally. i don't know how am i going to pull my marks up with my dumb brain. it's so unfair that some people are just born smart eh? O level's are just creeping in every minute, hour, day. i dread the feeling of it. the worry, the stress, the expectations. just so sick of exams and stuffs. i just wish for school to go on smoothly without any troubles or problems popping up. it would make my life easier then.

anyway, i want to thank GERALDINE. for your declaration.
it was really sweet. made me very happy. thank you:D

and of course. MAGGIE.
thank you for your snake and your shoes.
i'll give you your present too don't worry.
but not now. i'm broke): please understand. thanks.

2007-01-01T23:36:00.000-08:00

alright, i changed my blogskin. like finally.
i don't really like this skin though.
gona get this changed soon.
i changed my blogskin in desperation to get my blog alive again.
because i'm getting "sicker" of my previous blogskin
as days go by.
and like YAY. the song is "I Cross My Heart"
sung by All-4-one and Sammi Cheng.
the woman's a chinese singer. but who cares(:
her english is good too.
i love the lyrics. totally sweeeeeeeet.
people just listen to the whole song and you'll understand why.
i didn't like the song at the starting too.
but this song is just too nice.
it's my brother's wedding song too!
anyway peepes, take a look at the wisdom's corner too.
because i'll be updating it differently. like once in two days?
maybe you'll find something that inspire's you(:

anyway. people.
school's reopening.
and yes a good thing or a bad thing?
for me it's totally bad.
the o level's are coming.
approaching menacingly into our lives.
and yes. the feeling sucks, especially when i just started to enjoy my holidays.
i reckon it wouldn't be a very good year for all of us.
and the change of form teachers like miss tay said.
or maybe she's just pulling our legs.
i sure hope it wouldn't be the strawberry tree that's gona take over. lols
i will miss the cute ah boy in mummy's shop
and the "friends" i've made there.
because i doubt i'll ever go there again.
because mum's stopping her business.
anyway, thank you SHANN. for the music website.
HAPPY?aha.
i forgot how to upload pictures.
so i can't upload the wedding photos
of my brother and sis-in-law for you people to see.
so someone, please teach this stupid brain of mine(:
got to go now. see you people tomorrow(:

2006-12-29T08:09:00.001-08:00

so now i know who my true friends are:D

2006-12-19T01:06:00.000-08:00

birthday's over.
just like that. lols,
people whom i were expecting their wishes forgot or did not wish me.
people whom i did not expect to wish me. did. lols,
some people made me irritated. some made me really happy.
the rain from day to night didn't help much though.
and yes. finally i went to vivo city.
yesyes noob.
the japanese food was good. but expensive.
brother and sis-in-law didn't wish at all.
the day just went past like that.
not a very happy birthday though. it was the worse.

anyway, just want to express my thanks to
people who gave their wishes to me.
thanks for remembering.

. Geraldine
. Liangyu
. Yingyi
. Kylie
. Shann
. Mag
. Steffi
. Amy
. Kerin
. Nisha
. Aneza
. Yengyeng
. Yijia
. Shuying
. Shiqi
. Esther
. Felicia
. Eunice
. Nurul
. Pris
. Gracia
. Wenda
. Eevon
. Kenny,church
. Andy kwan
. Andy koh
. Samuel

thank you people(: greatly appreciated.
i'm going to town tomorrow i guess.
with ah liang to get my gown the ribbon tied up.
thanks for accompanying ah liang.
haven't got my accessories for the big day.
i can't wait for brother to get married.
sis-in-law would finally be moving in!

2006-12-17T23:34:00.001-08:00

happy birthday to me(:

2006-12-10T17:54:00.000-08:00

okay.
i haven't blog in a long long time.
but many things have happened.
lols,
i went to give out the wedding invitations
and i didn't eat for the whole day for goodness sake.
i wonder how those silly people can just starve for 3 days or whatever just to get slim.
i just didn't eat anything for the one day.
and i felt so weak and limp already.
those people who starve?
they must be crawling on the ground after their starving period.
no offence but it's so silly.
i haven't going out with my friends this few days.
been really busy. and now i'm running a temperature.
just few days before my big day):
sis's birthday is TOMORROW.
anyway, brother and his wife fought over my sis in law's mother.
i hate her stupid mother. that duck.
anyway. i got to go sleep.
my head's splitting.

2006-11-29T02:22:00.000-08:00

i went out with Nisha to "study" today.
lols, but we ended up chatting, and we're going to the library to study again tomorrow.
this time for real.
i want to thank God for today.
previously, i lost my wallet, but someone passed the wallet to the office
and i got it back.
thank God for the kind hearted soul.
today, i was so muddle headed i lost my keys,
it wouldn't affect anything if it was the past where you could easily duplicate a key.
my lock now has a pin on the key, and it would cost much.
thank God for letting me find it.
my brother would kill me if he knew):
thank God.

each time i felt lost and needed you all.
i couldn't find any of you.
then when i didn't need you people.
i was always able to contact you people.
weird huh?

2006-11-27T00:41:00.000-08:00

maths today.
didn't do much though, did alot of slacking.
lols, anyway. i went to meet daddy after that.
i'm rich now for the moment.
it'll be gone sooner or later.
i need to get a dress or gown? or i don't know what you call it.
for my brother's wedding. shoes too.
wanted to meet nisha for studying but she dua-ed me.
sooooooo. i just went back home after that.
now miss tay knows my secret too. like "oh shit" lols,
i have no idea why people keep guessing correctly.
too notorious i guess.
anyway, i'm contented for the moment.
i can keep my misses to other days.

yingyi, kylie, mag and geraldine:
i miss you all sooooooooo much):
we haven't gone out together yet.
as a group. boooooooooos,
i'm getting sick of seeing shann everyday. lols,
i was just joking.
but i still want to go out together(:
c'mon girls.
lets go out and plaaaaaay! AHA.

2006-11-24T01:24:00.000-08:00

HELLO.
unhappy now.
angry.
IDIOT.
ARGHHHHHH.

i went on the boat with my mum.
lols, and i went into the casino.
and they believed i was 21.
okay. i have a chao lao face):
i didn't want to gamble.
don't want too.
but my mum said later you get lost outside.
note: the boat is 14 stories high(:
then i went in and she forced me to play black jack.
i said i didn't want too.
but she needed to go collect her jackpot money.
i didn't go anywhere. i was afraid i'll get lost.
no reception, in malaysia, on a boat, in the middle of the sea.
so just play lor.
won for my mum $300
and she lost it all.
so i didn't sleep a wink the whole night and afternoon,
just watched my mum playing black jack.
the way they deal the cards and chips.
COOL(:
but i'm not gona gamble again.
it's wrong. lols,
went home. slept like a pig. returned home around 9am.
slept to 2.30pm.
but i want to go back there(:
tiring, seasick.
but NOT to gamble.
it's just so fun watching them do everything,
not to gamble. NONO(:
lols,

went out with shann today,
she wanted to buy her daddy's present.
she got it. lols, apple struuuuuuudel.
yumyum(:
got to go. TATA:D

OHYESYESYES.
darren from superstar.
he's just so cute.
so cute.
so so cute.
i'm so gona melt.
even my mom who listens to FEI YU QING.
thinks his cute too.!
so cute,
lols,
i'm darren-crazy.

2006-11-21T00:07:00.000-08:00

enough of the bad things.
have something great to share with you all!
i read this in a book and which i believe is very true!
if you're not a christian, it's okay(:
just read it for the sake of reading then!
maybe you'll find something worth reading about!
i typed this to Shann&Geraldine before.
and it took me 9 messages each, soooooooo.
here i go(:

you know.
each time you guys or girls glanced into the mirror,
early in the morning. and say "BLEEEACCCH"
i'm so ugly!
the ugly pimples, the distorted features, the disgusting hair
you can't help but think you are one of the ugliest.
but people. if you think this way.
it's time you got a new mirror.
it says so in the Bible, Psalm 149:4
(go check it out)!
i know this beautifying process is really true,
because i've seen this in many of my friends, that's why i'm sharing it with you people!
when the people start to know God in a real and personal way,
their pimples start to fade, the ugly features turn in beautiful ones.
a sparkle appears in your eyes,
and great radiance falls on your outside!
scientific research have shown that such things happen
when we fall in love, when we're pregnant(for girls only)
and when we're getting married!
we start to have glowing skin, sparkling eyes and a increased heart rate!
it's all chemical, very real, very true.

so why not at spiritual level too?
when you allow God to fill your heart with boundless love,
it's shows on the outside too!
this beauty does not have anything to do with cosmetics or plastic surgery!
it's an inside out job,
A HEART FULL OF LOVE PRODUCES
A FACE FULL OF JOY(:
before long after reading this book.
i realised the happy truth.
and it's something great we ought to celebrate about!
such beauty is a gift from God.
unlike lipstick and mascara which only lasts for a few hours,
spiritual beauty is timeless!
it literally pours out from your pores and alters your appearance
in a really pleasant way! people would think you had a face-lift(YUCK)
when you, my dear friends actually had a faith -lift!
so c'mon friends, be confident and happy about your appearance
you are having today because spiritual beauty would always be there!

lols, i loved this article, i edited some things though, so people!
ENJOY(:

2006-11-20T23:56:00.000-08:00

BLAH.
went out with liang yu yesterday.
went to eat sakae with her.
fought with my mum cause she was sooooooo irritating.
she was constantly beside me and Liang yu critising the food.
so i was like, "if you want to come then don't give so much comments"
then she walked away.
then she started shouting at me.
ate till we were totally full. especially ah liang.
she ate 13 plates. lols, i ate 7 plates aha.
she finished her udon. i didn't lols,
i helped her finish her ice cream though:D
bought 3 new tops yesterday.
finally i'm changing my wardrobe(:

came home. raining heavily. liangyu saw someone and she was very happy.
AHA. slacked at home. nothing to do.
called shann. then my brother came home. then he ranted at me.
he said, why is Jagger's water bowl emtpy.
then i was like how'd i know? i refilled it already.
then like anyone with a brain could saee that Jagger had toppled his bowl,
out of anger cause my brother didn't let him out.
and the water just dried up. MY fault.
asked me to do my maths assessment,
started asking me funny things again.
why is dist = speed x time?
why is speed=dist over time?
i answered because it's like that?
he said because of the product rule.
then he started complaining i had poooooooor basics which is true lah.
then he started ranting and ranting .
ranting and RANTING. then he said i was beyond hope.
i AM hopeless.
yea i am what. i am so beyond the border of laziness that i HATE to practise maths.
i just hate it. damned maths:/
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S.
what'd does that spell?
E.L.I.Z.A.B.E.T.H.
as simple as that.
fuck this fucking life.
i'm gona FORCE my fff brain and hand to do my fff maths now.

2006-11-16T01:16:00.001-08:00

HELLO(:
things have been reallllllllllllly fun this days.
i was out for the whole week. lols,
went out with amy on tuesday
she wanted to get a bag, so we went to Queensway .
surprisingly, me and amy didn't find any nice bags at all.
they were all handbags, or ugly sling bags.
so we just bought some stuff and went to city hall.
walk here and there and i went to meet my mum.
and she went home too(: fun day! thank you Amy chengggggggg. lols, "BANG"
yesterday, went out with Liang and Qian han to east coast.
lols, we had great fun cycling there then it rained out of a sudden.
so we were all drenched.
since it was so, we decided to rush over to the hawker centre.
but the rain was so heavy until we couldn't open our eyes.
and that dumb Liang yu knocked over a dustbin and she got a deeeeep cut.

saw a kitten mewing, wanted to go help it but another person attended to it.
so i was practically looking at the litten the whole time.
i wasn't paying attention.
the guy knock onto me. a rollerblader.
beginer i guess, didn't know how to brake or move away. lols.
i was on a bike.
he was on a rollerblade.
thank God i didn't make him not to have a Daddy's day anymore.
but i almost did. so he was apologising to me "repeat-ly"
then he went away.
but Liang yu and Qian han made the whole thing seem so painful for the guy.
that i said sorry to him.
yes. caught up with him and siad sorry.
then his friend was like " oh no, it was his fault. he didn't move away"
then i was like " well, i wasn't paying attention too" lols,
and Qian han got frightened by some guy who swerved suddenly infront of her.
so now.
liang has a phobia of dustbins,
and me to rollerbladers lols,

went to Shann's house today, met amy after that.
ate lunch with them and walked around.
then we went back to her house to crap. lols,
sister in law bought me a handphone strap from Japan.
it's so cute! it's blue too!
with a small kind in a kimono and a pinwheel that you can blow and it turns too!
anyway. there's maths tomorrow.
i think i'm gona go. lols,
had a fun weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! LOL.

sometimes, i get so tired when i hear your name.
sometimes, yet i love to mention about you.
sometimes, i feel so give up kind of mood on you.
sometimes, yet i feel so excited anout you.
knowing that giving up would be hard.
i rather it stayed this way.
through the hurt, through the pain.

2006-11-12T23:01:00.000-08:00

HELLO,

been not doing much lately.
just slacking around.
watching television.
surfing the net.
life's pretty boring.
haven't got my money back from mum yet.
my $120. feeling really broke now.
met a creeeeeeeeeeeeepy man yesterday.
he was always creeeeeeeeeeepy to me.
he rang my house doorbell.
even though i didn't know it was him, i didn't dare to open the door.
what'd expect. it was like almost going to 1am?
Thank God brother returned home on time.
all i know, i was hiding in the room.
and when i came out.
my bro told me the fff man wanted to borrow a calculator from me.
it's like totally crazy.
you ring the ffff doorbell in the middle of midnight.
just for a fffff calculator?
and how did he know i stayed here?
X ray vision? telepathy?
i doubt so. all i know is that i saw him and he told me he lived on the 14 floor.
so treating him as a neighbour, i told him my name and jagger's name lor,
you can tell your neighbour that what right?
but i solemly did not give him my ffffff door number or storey.
i met him a couple of times, twice in a day even.
especially. when i was with jagger.
my brother told me not to speak to strangers,
my mum told me not to go down that late at night to walk jagger.
and my sis in law told me to be careful with the :/ face. lols,
she was freaked out too i guess,
they make it seem like sth bad gona happen to me.
i'm no longer a small girl oooooooooooookay.
i'm still preeeeety freaked out though.
don't dare to go out for lunch.
just wait for mummy to come back with dinner.
no money, have to go to compass point to withdraw.
but i don't dare to go out. lols,
no maggie mee. no nothing.
only carrot juice.
and i am very angry with jagger cause he peed.
on the blanket.
now i have to wash the blankie, and the covers.
and make sure brother doesn't find out.
he's crying now. but i won't let him out anymore.
i won't talk to him.

anyway, Literature students
Miss Wong got posted back to kuochuan! hulahohohohoho(:
aha.

i feel so inferior of myself each time read the stuff you've been saying.
things i don't wana read.
things i don't wana hear.
sighs,
life sucks now worxzxzxzxz):

2006-11-08T21:39:00.000-08:00

been not doing much lately.
not feeling very well either,
just watched a show called bring it on.
lols, a cheerleading show.
and damn. that show was cool.
very cool.
want to show it to shann.
but guess i can't cause i got to return this by friday.
and i won't be meeting her at all i guess,
so. yea.
bro's sick as well.
guess he caught it from me. lols,
he took one day mc yesterday.
and Thank God i didn't meet up with anyone.
if not i'll have to dua people again. lols,
feeling still gloomy. but better.
terms with mum are better probably because i have enough sleep.
hope it would be all better. tomorrow(:

this shows how much you care huh.

2006-11-06T02:51:00.000-08:00

lols, i still. can't breathe.
shann couldn't recognise me when we talked on the phone today.
shan't blog much, because i don't have anything to blog about.
and i'm going to shann's house tomorrow.
and eat pasar malam food and get sick-er.
anyway, geraldine is sick to and she's munching on prawn crackers,
and i'm munching on twisties.
WOOHOOOOOO(:
brother's still the same. ranting. ranting. RANTING.......

i'm still missing you,

2006-11-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

i'm feeling terrible.
goodness, i can't breathe, can't breathe.
look amy. i'm in the same state as you're in. lols,
and. i'm running a temperature.
my head feels it's gona explode any minute.
help.

2006-11-03T00:09:00.000-08:00

watched goong on youtube.
want the disc.
lui by the way. is so cute.
still feeling down though,
ffffffff emo.
don't know what to do.
don't know what to say.
days seem to be going so slowly.
too slowly. people seem to be getting happier.
i seem to become more fragile.
now, even the slightest lecture can beat me down.
just a song can make me cry.
heart's feeling empty.
my brother's not making things easy for me too.
work stress, wedding stress.
i seem to become his stress reliever.
even when it wasn't my fault.
i get lectured too.
saying, i don't care about the house.
don't care about people's things when it's not mine.
blah blah blah. if i didn't care, i wouldn't do housework.
each time i do something wrong.
he says, elizabeth, i know you too well.
you do things without thinking of the results. blah blah.
understand me. only on the outside. not on the inside.
you people. keep telling me the same thing.
i know you too well elizabeth.
really. really.
what do i like to eat? or to drink?
what do i hate doing?
what colours i like?
they don't know. and they claim to understand me when they don't even know the basics.
bullshit.
i like being a zookeeper. i like it that way.
then my sister tells me.
you dumb girl. zookeeper? what future would you have?
they don't know, anything.
don't know what to blog anymore.
liang yu, and i'm happy for you sweetie.
bye.

the emptiness i get in my heart.
just makes me wish i was dead.

2006-11-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

-MORNING,

today, i found out enough.
enough for me to give up.
maybe, all i found out were just concidential.
maybe all i found out were just normal,
but all changed by my sensitivity.
maybe, maybe.
but enough for me to give up.
just realised how different we were.
how similar were the both of you.
how incompaitable were me and you.
how compaitable were the both of you
enough.
maybe i still can't give up.
maybe i still can't let go.
maybe if i try my very best and i still can't do it.
then, time will heal.
if it doesn't, then i'll let it be. i'll go about on my own.
all things must come to an end.
for now, it will.
all ended.
thank you for the memories.
thank you for the laughter you've given.
thank you for everything.
goodbye,

anyway, rainft.
you still owe me six ice cream scoopes
i want them now,

-NIGHT

came back from Shann's house.
had fun with shann and amy today.
had alot of laughters regarding. *um hem
lols, felt better.
binged on alot of ice cream today.
one in the afternoon.
another at night. met my mum. and ate Venezia.
missed Goong. today was a very nice episode.

lols, rainft. okay. i will leave you alone for your N levels.
i will haunt you for my ice cream after your N levels(:
must remember to save money huh.
i'm giving you a 50% discount.
just 3 scoopes would do(:
sighs,
thank you tay liang yu for consoling(:
<33333333333333s

2006-11-01T03:06:00.000-08:00

HELLO:D
had great fun today actually(:
with miss tay liang yu, lols.
we went to east coast park and we had a great great time.
we both were really troubled anyway.
and that trip to east coast made us feel so much better!
thank you Liang yu!
and we got drenched in the rain , lols
only one end of east coast was raining.
and we were the unlucky ones.
so by the time we returned our bikes,
everyone was looking.
thinkin" eh. why they soooooo wet huh?"
lols,
we went bowling after that.
and yes at the first five parts. we lost miserably.
due to the loss of practise i think.
then we finally did better and the ball knocked onto my finger.
it's swollen now):
anyway i had great fun today!
anyway, remember telling you people about seeing two snail mate?
i went there yesterday.
and saw many many baby snails,
i counted 21. but i'm sure there were more!
they were sooooooo little! some even smaller than your pinky!
had a great time today.
going to Shann's house tomorrow with Liang Yu again!(:
woooooooo hooooooo!!

2006-10-31T16:00:00.000-08:00

didn't do really much today.
just sat in front of the computer.
and i played neopets, lols.
it's raining really heavily now, don't know what to do anymore.
just waiting for the contractors to come.
one man is coming from 4 to 5pm to seal up the crack for the wood in my bro's room.
another at 5 to 6pm to iron off the lump in my brother's cabinet,
one at 6 to 7pm to seal the cracks in the service balcony.
feeling reallllllllllly bored now. the weather makes things even worse.
there's gona be snail's adventure for me tonight!
snails love the wet weather, they don't like Mr Sun. lols,
maybe going out to Shann's house tomorrow.
to be her part time maid-.-
don't know what to say anymore.
life seem to be so meaningless now.
i just saw sth that made me realllllllly upset.
i feel like crying but i can't.
i feel like dying now. ):

i'm contented.
thank you God for this precious gift,
she gave her love away, since
a loooooooong loooooong time ago.

2006-10-29T21:49:00.000-08:00

oh well,
lyrics for " Never Too Far" by Mariah Carey.
yesyesyes. this song's reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally old.
but i still like it all the same(:
i love the lyrics, very meaningful.
ENJOY(:

Never Too Far:

You're with me
Til the bitter end
What we had transcends
This experience
Too painful to Talk about
So I'll hold it in
Til my heart can mend
And be brave enough to love again

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Chorus:

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I'll keep you close to me
When I remember

Glittering lights
Incandescent eyes
Still preserved In my mind
In the memories I'll find solace

Chorus:

Never too far away
I won't let time erase One bit of yesterday
And I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I'll keep you close to me
And I'll remember

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Chorus:

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
And though we can never be
I'll always think of you and me
Always remember

Love

Never too far~

wooooooooooooooots, and that's the end(:

2006-10-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

HELLOOOOOOO:D
had fun with mum today,
and i handled all the housework by myself.
seems like sister in law is moving
so bro helped their family to move to their new home(:
real tired now, but i'm reallllllllllly bored.
OH YES OH YES.
" put your left hand in, put your left hand out,
put your left hand in and shake it all about
you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around that's what it's all about!"
my goodness, i'm realllllly bored lah.

TIME FOR:
THE SNAILS ADVENTURE WITH ELIZABETH CHUA(: -.-
but i had fun with them today, lols.
i saw 8 at one area.
8 you know at one grass patch just that they were scattered all around.
and i put them all together under a hidden grass area
hoping that they would mate(:
so they can have more little snailies around. lols,
so i brought Jagger to pee elsewhere, and when i came back.
I SAW THEM MATING.
not all 8 lah! just two. lols,
was reallllly happy for them-.-
they weren't even embarrassed that i was looking at them _ _ _
middle letter is "e", they were just coiling around each other.
they didn't mind me looking at them w/o clothes!
fff. what am i saying? they don't wear clothes!
didn't want to invade their privacy so i wished them all the best and walked away.
well done, i was talking to myself at that point of time.
friends, i think you people for the sake of my goodwill, better call the IMH now.
i wouldn't blame you people seriously.
i was talking to myself all the while?
why was i talking to myself?
no leh, i don't know why i was talking to myself.
maybe i was bored?
yayaya. i was bored.
SEE, i'm talking to myself again. oh no. call the IMH.
but i don't wana go there,
i wana see Mr and Mrs snail marry!
omg, they can't marry they're snails!
but i should. yes i should.
jagger i should right? no. why am i talking to him on the computer?
"turns to her left"
i should right jagger?
jagger nods his head. so i think i should.
eh. i've got to stop all this bullshit.
i've been talking gibberish the whole time!
but the snail thing is true lah.
i don't bluff the readers(:
sorry if you people got so cold until you people got iced all over.
i'm just too boooooooooooored.
sighs,

2006-10-27T02:55:00.000-07:00

i'm at Shann's house now(:
didn't go with Amy to vivo city today afterall,
she's actually sick now! poor amy. get well soon(:
went to Junction8 to get my toner and stuffs,
then it started to rain.
we were totally totally drenched.
record broken, continuously 3 days of getting drenched:D
i wana get sicksicksick. but i can't get sick.
don't know why. was really pissed with mum yesterday, she took my money.
and promised to return it to me.
then she only returned fifty-.- wth,
i don't even know where all my money has gone to.
i didn't even use that much and now i'm only left with 30.
for now the holidays are here, but time seems to be going so slowly.
when will 2 months pass? sigh,
anyway, another record broken.
saw 13 snails yesterday.
saw 4 at one grass patch but one was already smashed by some other people.
so only saved 3 and placed them together.
saw the baby one again. it's so cute! lols,
wana watch death note again.
death note 2 faster come out.!
i wana see LLLLLLLLLLLLL(:
sigh,

missing missing missing missing missing missing,
yooooooooooooooooooooou.):

2006-10-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

HELLO:D

today's the last day of school.
but i'm so not loving it):
means i won't be able to see that idiot for 2 months,
man. had principal's talk today it was okay actually.
and yesterday. people came to perform what deepavali is all about,
it was interesting and nice but i was freaked out of
how they played their instruments and the chanting of the man
it sounded so evil.
and yes. me and shann screamed when the demon and the other guy came down.
they looked so horrifying and BIG. my goodness, thank God it was the other guy that
came close. not the demon. if not i'd run to the toilet already, lols,
gave my report book to my brother yesterday.
surprisingly,
his lecture was only two mintues?
me: gor, report card.
gor: aiyo, your maths very "terok" huh get so low and POA fail?
gor: your science fail also? like that how to go poly?
me: aiya, you need to give me time ma. i just started studying hard for this exam only.
you think i'm superwoman huh,? i can't improve that much you know.
gor: okay, give you this week to play, next week onward do your maths and science assesment.
me: orh, okay lor.

all this took 2 mintues, and he wasn't really angry at all.
maybe he saw the improvement? don't know.
whatever it is, i'm just happy that it didn't turn out badly.
going out with amy to vivo city tomorrow(:
anyway people.
enjoy your holidays(:<33s
man, i feel so ffffffff emo now):

without you here, i just feel so so lonely):
i wish the whole year would start over again.
would you forget me? i wouldn't.
unless i find a guy that makes me feel the way you do.
if i don't.
i'll just continue sliently loving you,
even though i'm a fool,
all this is enough for me.

2006-10-24T06:54:00.000-07:00

HELLO:D

i had great fun today, with amy cheng and shushannah lee(:
walked around in junction8, had our pasta
then went to cine to catch the movie "DEATH NOTE"
met with hui min, zenith, melissa along the way.
and we all watched the movie together(:
and oh my goodness, "L"
the investigator was REALLLLLY CUTE!.
the way he ate his chips, candy, the way he held his phone.
OMG. he was damn cute, so cute!.
and that that. "Light" guy
he was really ruthless to plot and kill his girlfriend !
i was really mad with him lols,
anyway, all in all, i had great fun today! lols,
CCA day tomorrow! support girl guides ooooooookay?:D

2006-10-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

school's been really lame this few days,
we were supposed to go for the race, and in the end it got cancelled.
due to the psi, ridiculous luh.
anyway, i know i'm slow in blogging,
but naked fish was actually not bad.
the prawn was nice, the chicken was okay, and the cake was cute!
i didn't like the salad at all, and so did geraldine.
but overall, everything was okay.
had fun with amy and shann at her house.
i had fun at geraldine's house,
i just had fun lah.
and amy,
i am so happy for you, congrats<3
and shann,
well. i'm disappointed you did it,
and i know you're really upset now.
but it'll soon be over(: so cheer up.<3
bye,

you know i love you, not him.
one more week. just one more week,
and i wouldn't be able to see you anymore.
imissyou):

2006-10-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

I HATE JAGGER LLAAAAAAA.!!!!!

he saw a cat and he pull me soooooo hard then i tumbled onto the road.
PAIN. ,MY WOUND HURTS,
it's until the flesh.
PAIN. PAIN.
stupid woman in the car.
still honk me.
CRAZY LA.
i cannot stand still honk me.
BAD WOMAN.
i hate you.
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINN LAAAAAAAAAAA~
MY HAND, MY TOES, MY WHOLE LEG.
PAIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN LAAAAAAAAA.

2006-10-16T02:32:00.000-07:00

yes, today. all of us got back our papers.
some may be happy, some may be not.
but all i can say is, there's no more turning back.
whether we're going up to secondary four,
it lies in the hands of God, and the teachers.
i was really happy for the first three papers,
i scored really well in my humanities, chinese and english.
then, after recess,
many of us just got banged by the fact that,
the more deadly papers were just coming up.
i failed my maths, science and poa, really badly.
really really badly.
couldn't control i guess, all this shits that had been happening this few days,
family and stuff. i guess, tears, just couldn't get a hold of themselves.
now,
i'm not even sure if i can make it to secondary four.
i wish i can , i would love too.
i will, i believe God would permit this wish of mine.
and if he doesn't, well.
i don't know what to say anymore,
after all the hard work i've put in,
it's all shit that i get back.
then i'd rather not study at all.
at least i didn't fail so badly.

it's just totally not fair.
i don't know if i should give the papers back to my brother today.
maybe i'll give it to him when the report card comes.
when it doesn't . i'll just say bro, do anything you deem fit to be,
afterall, i'm dead meat.
i'm just gona enjoy this whole week,
until reality steps in, and i get the fact.
had step on today, it was okay afterall. sort of bonded together i guess,
and yes. personal grooming course tomorrow.
don't know if it's gona be fun or not.
oh well, just gona accept the shit they're saying, and let it go out of the ear,
if it isn't fun.
or maybe 3 love would really give them a really hard time.
lols, afterall, 3 love is the most "unmotivated" class to many teachers.
all of us know that by fact, we already are together in this.
and, whether even the most hated ones are still in the class next year,
i'm sure. we would love every single one of us to go to three love next year,
it would be uncomplete without anyone of you people:D

kill me. then i'll die without facing to the shit i'm gona get.
i'll be much happier by then.

sometimes, you make me feel that you and jagger are the only ones,
that i'm living for anyway.
i love you boy<33s

2006-10-15T03:18:00.000-07:00

i'm really unhappy today.
i got ranted by my brother until i almost cried,
and my mum isn't making things better.
like please, she freaking biased just because my brother's the guy,
and i get shit just because i'm the freaking girl,
how fair is that.
i just made one comment,
mum, why did you buy mutton soup?
i don't drink such stuff.
then she ranted at me,
at you please shut up, it isn't for you to drink anyway.
OH. so i get struck in my head and realise.
oh. so all the things i've done, all the good things don't come to me.
wow. thanks mum.
then she uses a perfect nicey nicey tone and says,
would you please help me paint my nails,
OH NO. i got no red packets to put money in for my friend's wedding dinner.
so? is it any of my fucking business? NO.
then i got treated like a slave, she ask me to search the whole freaking house,
and made me borrow from the neighbour,
SOMEONE WHOM I TOTALLY DONT KNOW.
why couldn't she go and ask for it herself?
why couldn't she?
for face.
OH THANKS HUH, you rather sacrificed me for your bloody face.
i tried to be the perfect daughter, i stay at home when asked to.
no i mean shouted too, i do housework until my hand peels, and nobody cares
i write cheques, and whatever bullshit that has no relations to me.
i try and try. and this is the shit i get.
bad temper? rant at me.
need my help? say nicely to me.
THINK I'M A SLAVE?
oh nono. i'm sorry. i'm not gona be nicey girl at home anymore.
as if i can . i'll get kicked out of the house.
KICKED OUT. fine, anyway. let's see how you as a mother do things without me.
i'm seriously not afraid at all.
i can go back to my dad, no sweat.
FUCK ALL THIS BULLSHIT.
i don't even know what i'm doing anymore.
save me please.

2006-10-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

couldn't blog for this few days,
been very busy. and yes people,
after all this hard work, and stress.
exams are finally over, now we can go and do anything we want,
without our parents saying anything.
great!
i had real good fun yesterday,
amy and shann dear came to my house yesterday,
cooked them lunch and made them coffee,
and they even helped to clear the table! thank you sweeties(:
and we were playing, laughing, rolling all around.
and taking silly pictures, with all sorts of poses(:
it was FUN FUN FUN!:D
you two huh, must stay over someday!
i bet we'll drive my brother and mum crazy.
and nope, jagger did not bite amy at all.
amy patted jagger and jagger didn't bite her.(:
anyway, got to go!
take care people(: <33s

i've just simply given up on you,
i'm not gona do anything at all.
i'll just continue waiting.
like a fool.

i hate you, bitch.

2006-10-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

HELLO:D

i'm so gona flung the physics paper.
i couldn't even really do most of the questions.
i am so so dead.

anyway, yesterday was mooncake festival,
i don't usually commemorate such festivals,
but it was really pretty and beautiful last night!
kids, were holding onto all different sorts of lanterns,
pikachu, batman, doremon, and some funny looking characters
some just made shapes with flames on it using candles,
the moon, the stars and heart shapes.
kids lit up fire sparkles, with the sounds,
with red, blue, green flames and stuck them on the ground,
making it all seem like a ground display of fireworks ceremony
it was my most beautiful night yesterday and even though it was a pity
i couldn't do the same, but i was really happy just to walk with jagger
through the candles, it was just so great! i had a great night last night,
and everything stopped at 12 am. the candles were blown off,
the noise died down. what a waste,

anyway, did you people realise the haze fogging the whole area,
i'm feeling so sick due to it.
my nose keeps running, and i can't breathe properly.
it's even worse this morning.
oh man, i wished the rain could come to disseminate the haze.
and i know many people, are really stressed out for the exams,
i'm one of them too.
but just keep this in mind people.
until wednesday, just 4 more days of intense studying,
some on tuesday, those who don't take the pure humans and poa.
just persevere on for a while, and we can all enjoy with a peace of mind.
the days would go pass real fast, just perservere(:
then we can all play without our parents saying a shit.
just make sure all of us get into secondary four!
and to avoid falling sick, drink lots of water,
sleep early, eat healthly and look and feel the best for your exams.
only then can you feel the concentration on your papers.
so last but not least, best of luck for your remaining papers!:D
TATA(:

i don't want the days to end so fast.
cause if it does, the holidays would come,
and i wouldn't be able to see you for a long long time):

2006-10-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

woke up late to school today.
yes, i got detention, but the security guard was really cool!

me: uncle, uh. detention.
security guard: oh, okay, can you see your name on the book?
me:uh, no no. eh, yes yes. chua hui qin. the number 3 there.
me: i thought elizabeth would be listed there, sorry
security guard: this one ah, okay nevermind .
me: huh? so where do i go now?
security guard: oh, you can go anywhere! sit in the canteen or walk around.
stay for 30 minutes and you can go.
me: huh? like that only?
security guard: ya ya.

so, i didn't really get detention.
chinese was okay today,
just that i didn't really have much time to do my comprehension,
physics tomorrow, and yes. it means i'm dead tomorrow.
went subway today, and it totally ruin the expectation i had for them.
rude service, shitty attitude.
and yes, i admit, i didn't have enough sleep. so it was
why i probably acted like some dumb ass.
i'm so blur today, i almost fell two times,
got seen like a dumb dumb, and kept dozing off during chinese.
alright, got to go TATA people(:

My small little love dedication to you:

my dear boy, would you have ever known how much i love you?
you make me act like a crazy fool,
you make me happy then do sth that really upsets me,
you make me all sensitive about you,
you make me act as if i don't give a damn about you. when i really do.
you make me think about you each and every day,
you make me all so happy when i see you,
you make me feel like telling you how i feel.
you make me feel like talking to you,
you make me feel paranoid when i see you in her msn.
you make me feel all flustered and worried again.
you make me afraid that i'll lose you someday.
you make me think what would happen if you loved another,
you make me think how much you really love me.
you make me think what if you never loved me,
you made me think why did you stare and gaze
when you never even talked to me in the first place,
you make me feel why must i talk to you first,
when you're the guy not the girl.
you make me feel like making you jealous,
cause i love it when i see you mad
you make me feel angry with my self when i do that,
cause you would do it back to me just the same way
you make me wonder, where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with
even though i know it's not my business to care.
you make me feel like saying, why can't you just tell me how you feel
you make me feel what if you never loved me, but you love my friend
you make me think how much hurt i would go through when it happens this way
you make me feel like walking up to you and say,
HEY. you make me feel just this way
there are still many things that you make me feel in what way,
i'll never be able to type down everything,
cause i'll never end it today.
10 months, and i'm still loving you, and it'll keep going that way.

ehh, sounds like a poem though(:
oh yes i forgot, mag dreamt of sth really ridiculous yesterday-.-

2006-10-04T01:40:00.000-07:00

that girl, crazy -.-
i'm at Shann's house now,
and yes. i've changed my url address, because
i decided i needed some privacy,
i hope he doesn't find out bout this one.
maths and geog today, and yes.
hope i pass the both of them./
cause my answers in math seem to be similar to Kylie's.
forget it, each time i think i'll pass.
i'll end up failing very badly.
so i'll just shut up about this one.

yeah, and i'm fcuking stressed now,
i guess everyone is. what if i don't make it to secondary4?
slogging like crazy this few days,
guess it's the only time i seriously studied.
don't be shocked.
i haven't been studying since seconday 1.
God has been giving me alot of chances,
and this time, i need to show him i can do it.
ooooh. yes, geog was ooooookay too.
just that i didn't really have time to check my answer luh.

the four prisoners(:
oookay, this is just for laughs.
if you people still find it funny la.
i wasn't able to use the computer,
cause i got banned from it. poofs,

life just seems to be going well
admist of all this exams,
just wana drop dead sometimes.
i'm still very bothered by some things,
but nobody ever understands,
it doesn't mean i'm consistenly, hyper
and smiling all the time.
but i'm still human.
somethings, just bother me alot.
i just can't tell anyone how i feel.
i feel so stuffed up kind-of-thing.
ever felt this way?
sighs,

sometimes i just doubt how much you love me.
you're so unpredictable):

2006-10-04T01:36:00.000-07:00

Shann: Hello! This is made by Shann Lee. :D
yesyesyes, Shann tha great. wahahaha.
made w looooooooooooooooove.
okay liz, let's go get some ice cream
& go to tha beach right after the eoy is over!
we arrange a party okay? then bring vodkaaaaaaaa!
and dang it, my vodka in the locker went missing. -.-
*furious
okayokay, byebye! back to the owner. tata! :D